Destroy connections after a ResourceManager failure

In TxConnectionManager$TxConnectionEventListener$TransactionSynchronization.enlist()
we don't check the XAException for a total failure.

If the XAException has error code XAER_RMERR or XAER_RMFAIL
we should just destroy the connection straightaway.

We don't want these connections being returned to the pool,
only for the valid connection checker to close them next time the connection is used.
There is no point.