Use remote-timeout instead of state-transfer timeout for leave requests

Normally the leave request should not block, but in rare cases it does. E.g. because of ISPN-9588, sometimes the leave request never gets a response, and only gives up after the state-transfer timeout expires (4 minutes by default). If the test has more than one cache (e.g. `org.infinispan.CONFIG` is running), it will be killed by `TestNGLongTestsHook` after 5 minutes.

We should use the smaller `remote-timeout` so that nodes block for a shorter time before leaving.