Increment the topology id when a node leaves the cache

We currently increment the topology id only when we "rebalance" the consistent hash (i.e. we add new owners). This allows us to to do some optimizations after a leave, like not forwarding commands (because there are no new owners).

Unfortunately, it is not very intuitive, because it doesn't match how JGroups works, so it can cause bugs like ISPN-2417.

Additionally, it turns out there are many places where we care that a node left, so the code is more complex to handle this (e.g. TransactionTable.useStrictTopologyIdComparison()), or it is more slow for the common case when there is no leaver (e.g. LocalTransaction.getCommitNodes()).